Firing at the Romans
by fullmetal.freak67
Summary: Um, well first off, this isn't mine persay, it belongs to a friend, read the author's note for more details. This is a crackfic and it answers a question one of the author's friends had, so she just had a dirty mind and wrote this. It is a oneshot and it is her first of the sort, so please, be gentle if you can. Plus if you write flames address them to Meganla, not just me.


A/N: This is not mine. I just am posting this for my goof- oops good, no wait, never mind- friend who can't yet. When or if she ever wants this to be her own, I will gladly give it back. NO FLAMES TOWARDS ME! If you wanna flame, address it to Meganla, not me! And she is such a *dork so as to write her own authors note, so bear with me now. *Not the technical definition of dork. The definition you use when you mean a complete weirdo who is such a fangirl.

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A/N: Hi, Meganla here! I just wanted to say that I know this is kind of crap, but I really only wrote it for me and my friends, so if you hate it, good for you. Also, this has a Mark of Athena spoiler, kind of, so just to be safe, if you haven't read Mark of Athena yet, and are really picky about spoilers, DON'T READ! Thank you to my awesome friend Pagiewa (Me) for posting this and helping me beta it! You Rock! This is just a complete crack fic I had an idea for, and I couldn't find anything with this pairing, so I just HAD to write it. Don't blame me, blame my friend for sparking the idea. (This friend is NOT me, and if he ever reads this he will probably kill us.)

OKEY! Now lets get on with it. I'll see you at the end, and thank you for supporting my dear friend. She is almost a little sister to me. FYI this is WEAK compared to my stuff, so don't judge me. Just know that she is new to writing this stuff, but I however have been reading these for a couple years now and have only just begun writing as well, but am much more comfortable with it. THANKIES SEE YA!

Firing At The Romans

". . . And down here are the stables!" Leo said enthusiasticly.

"Oh, very fascinating," Octavian grumbled, his voice dripping with sarcasm.

Leo was giving Octavian the grand tour of his master warship, the Argo II and Octavian didn't seem too happy about it.

"Now, now, Mr. Grumpy, we haven't even gotten to the best part yet! The next and final stop is the grand finale, and my personal favorite spot on the ship, the control room!" Leo was sure this last stop would impress Octavian, it had all the bells and whistles, literally! All the different game controllers, levers, buttons, and everything else kept Leo moving. You couldn't blame him, the guy was seriously ADHD, even for a demigod, he always seemed to be twitching or fiddling with a little contraption made of paperclips and rubber bands.

Leo led the way down the hall. He heard Octavian behind him, muttering about, 'Never getting the respect he deserved as auger. Leo bit his lip, he couldn't help but find the little growl in the back of Octavian's throat, it showed up when he was annoyed, extremely sexy.

Yes, the great flaming Leo Valdez, had just described a boy as sexy. It was no surprise to him, he had known he was bi for a while now. He even made a move on Jason once. . . he got punched. Of course, Jason, being such a noble citizen and all, had apologized over and over again, and they were cool now. Leo usually preferred girls, but there was something about this guy that was irresistible. Leo wondered how that growl would sound in bed, or how Octavian looked under that awful toga. He had an aura about him that made Leo wonder if he could be trusted, which just made Octavian sexier, and Leo more curious. Leo wanted to get to know this mysterious Roman. That's why he invited him for a tour. He was exactly Leo's type, hot and uninterested in him.

Suddenly, Leo felt someone slam into his back! Apparently, he was so lost in thought that he had just stopped walking, and Octavian had bumped into him. "Shit I'm sorry! I kinda lost myself in thought," Leo said blushing madly and suddenly thankful for his tool belt to hide his growing boner.

"Whatever," Octavian snapped as the two boys walked into the control room. Leo fiddled with a few things and checked with Festus to make sure that everything was all right, all the while wishing his hard on would go away, but no such luck. Leo let out a low whistle and said, "Here she is, my pride and joy. What do you thing?"

Octavian said nothing and there was an awkward pause. Leo took another stab at conversation, "So, you got a girlfriend?" He asked casually.

Octavian gave him a pointed look that made Leo melt and said, "No."

"Oh," Leo said, "a boyfriend then?"

"No, no," Octavian stammered awestruck, "I don't. . . I'm not-"

"Of course you're not," Leo said trying to hide the disappointment in his voice.

Octavian stared at him incredulously, "Wait, are you-"

"I'm bi, actually, and quite available." Leo winked, trying to joke his way out of a really awkward conversation.

Octavian almost smiled and Leo broke out laughing.

"What's so funny?" Octavian demanded.

"Nothing, Tavy, can I call you Tavy? Octavian is such a mouthful," Leo realized the implication of his words too late, but continued before Octavian could react, "It's just that when you're not so uptight, you're actually kind of adorable!"

"I am NOT adorable, and I am most certainly NOT uptight!" Octavian protested indignantly.

"See, that's what I mean!" Leo gasped in a fit of laughter.

"Stop laughing at me!" Octavian demanded. "Would an uptight person do this?" Suddenly Leo's laughter was interrupted by Octavian leaning down and kissing him, hard.

Leo was shocked, and his boner was harder than ever. He tilted his head up and tangled his hands into Octavian's blond hair, deepening the kiss. He was pleasantly surprised by Octavian biting his lower lip, asking for entrance. Leo opened his mouth and Octavian slipped his tongue inside. Their tongues battled for dominance for a while, doing a sort of tango, but in the end, Leo won out.

Leo took off his t-shirt tossed it in a random direction. Octavian started sucking and biting on his neck and collar bone, most definitely leafing a few hickeys. Leo was fiddling with his tool belt, simultaneously trying to take it off and wondering if he could pull out a pack of Trojans from it. They were so lost in the moment that neither of the boys realized that they were moving backwards.

Leo moaned and pressed his hard on against Octavian's toga when something pressed on his back. They heard a giant explosion. The boys broke apart breathless. Leo had accidentally knocked into something and fired on the Roman camp! Octavian quickly fixed his hair and ran out, screaming that it was the Greeks fault and that they had declared war!

"Damn it!" Leo screamed, kicking a control panel, which just caused another explosion, "FUCK!" He ranted a list off of different profanity, cursing at least three different gods, and even slipping into Spanish while collecting his clothes. He was so pissed, he accidentally scorched his shirt. "Well this is just fucking great!" He ate a bite of ambrosia to heal his hickeys, but that still didn't make his boner go away.

Now he was left with a scorched shirt, a boner, and two warring camps. He needed to come up with a believable story. His friends didn't even know he was bi! Well, except Jason. "Damn, fuck, shit!" He said and let out another long stream of profanities.

'How the fuck am I supposed to think straight with this boner?!'

THE END!

A/N: Like I said, week compared to my own, but I do think that she give herself way too little credit for her first and it being a decent one shot. Again, not mine, and if you have any comments please address them to Meganla, and Flames are accepted by her, but I warn you, you get nasty and I will reciprocate. Also, if I don't show up on here again, there might be a problem, she may have strangled me with a hug.


End file.
